The Girl Kant Help It

I think there is so much comedy about airplanes because flying is actually kind of terrifying and horrible if you think about it, and laughter is a good way of dealing with things that are difficult or scary (she said, exposing a world of neuroses to the internet). But really, about once every flight that I take, I have a moment where I realize that I have NO idea how what is happening is happening. I could just google how planes work, but I suspect technically getting it would be of little help towards actually knowing what the eff is going on. I know it is something to do with wings and wind and maybe something called aerials or vectors, but realistically I am about as clueless as the 1800sy people who were around when planes first became a thing.

"Well, Marple, I'm getting into this big metal bird, and with some luck and help from the sweet lord who is for sure real and governs all of our movements, eventually I will be back in the warm, colonial arms of mother europe. God save the King, right?" - Me, basically.

Marple = incredibly common 19th century name, obviously.

Other things that I don't know how they work and which you could tell me were magic and I would proooobably just be alright with it:

- The Internet
- My iPod and computers in general
- Yeast (Seriously, guys, it's a bit alive, and then your bread rises. What?!)
- Men (AM I RIGHT, LADIES?? Just kidding, i know how men work. Food and sex and compliments about their beards, right? ... #mostlyjoking #someonepleaseexplainmentome #hashtagsoutsidetwitterareathingnowgowithit)

All of this plane jibbajabba is brought to you from the big metal bird I am currently in, where I'm curled up in bed blogging on my iPad like I'm Kanye West or something [HAHAHHAHAHAAH AUTOCORRECT CHANGED THAT TO "blogging like Kant or something". Way better. Autocorrect, I cherish you. You are like a helpful and hilarious companion with impeccable grammar... Oh no. Autocorrect is my ideal date.]

Anyway, I'm on a plane, which means soon I will be back in England where I pinky swear I will start blogging regularly. Like, twice a week and on the same days. Taking the internet seriously, everyone. So tell your friends. This blog will be bigger than Kant's in no time!

Marginally related but incredibly important: my stewardess' name was Randy Mann. How does that even HAPPEN. Where is that woman from that that is not a HILARIOUS name??