like a town in the South of France

I am very committed to fully experiencing this year abroad. I want to do and see British things and learn British stuff and eat British food. It's why I'm getting fat (vegetables in England are illegal unless you put them in a pastry coating), it's why I snog gingers exclusively (Affirmative Snog Action), and it's why I try really hard to accumulate a brain-dictionary of British slang words.

My flatmates have been taking advantage of this interest in the British vernacular. They tried for an unreasonably long time last week to convince me that 'twinkledip' was Brit slang for vagina. Come on, guys. I know the English language is silly, but it is not THAT silly. Also, did we all take note of that seamless use of the word 'flatmates' in the above sentence? MAKIN' IT WORK.

Now, there are lots of funny and silly—and also real—words you can use if you want to sound wanky and British. 'Wanky' is one. 'Well' to mean 'very' is another. But the main one is 'nice.' Nice is the most important word in the British language, because it is basically their only adjective.

Consider this example. The quotation below indicates how a British person would describe these breakfasts:

'Nice.'

'Really nice.'

'Not very nice'

When things are really wonderful, they are 'nice' or 'really nice'. The opposite of 'nice' is 'not very nice.'

A good meal is 'nice,' the man you met on Friday night who you have a huge crush on and think might be THE ONE is 'so nice' (James, call me), a person who you never want to talk to again is 'just not nice.' No other descriptive words indicating the quality of a person or object exist. The more you know.